Remembering Mama

Seven years ago today, Mama entered the presence of the Lord. There she knows no pain, sorrowing, suffering, or tears...just joy. I miss her more than I can say. I miss her laughter. She had a cute, quiet laugh, and her shoulders shook when she laughed. She had a funny sense of humor. I remember one time she came into the house and picked up two squash and held them like a pistol, and said, "Put your hands up." Her laughter and humor became even funnier because she had a serious exterior. But she had a difficult life. Some of her trials included:

1.  Finding her baby brother dead had to be a difficult trial.

2.She lost a friend in high school from a tragic murder, and testifed at the  trial.

3. Her father had been night policeman on the Hill in her small hometown, and he had arrested a man and woman, sort of a Bonnie and Clyde type couple. Because the jail small and not wanting a man and a woman in the same cell, he brought the woman home to keep her there until the judge came. Somehow she found a gun and tried to kill herself.

4. She was a violinist. I never knew that until one day in the early 80's, Mama asked me if I would go to the Orange Grove Nursing home. There was a man there that she knew from Auburn, and would I visit him. I did, and he had been Mama's violin teacher when she was a girl. He told him how good Mama was and how she was talented enough to have gone on, but for some reason, her parents wanted her to stop taking lessons. She kept her violin. Later, I found out, it was sold at the farm sale.

5. When she married, she had a beloved and beautiful daughter born with a serious lung ailment. Carolyn had to go through so many serious surgeries, and Mama probably always lived in fear for daughter's life.

6. She had a son get rheumatic fever, and she worried about him.

7. She had to leave behind family, friends, and community to move to Arizona, and just nine short years later, lose her husband. Yet in all this, she hung on and fought on for those she loved. Mama had a lot of strength. I admired that strength. 

Mama had beautiful hands. They were small hands for she was a tiny woman, but they were strong yet soothing hands. She had busy hands to help her family and friends. She had creative hands that made me so many pretty dresses. She had gentle hands that held her children and grandchildren. She had praying hands that taught her granddaughter the value of prayer. Jayne told me a story about how much her Grandmother meant to her. Jayne had been discouraged over something, and had gone to her room to cry. Mama came to her and told her how God could take care of the trouble, and she prayed with and for her.  

Mama had beautiful eyes, large, cornflower blue eyes. They sparkled with such joy when she was happy, and they could speak volumes when she was not so happy with me. They were radiant eyes. Her doctor once said that she had Bette Davis eyes. She did. 

Mama had a beautiful voice. She could sing and she encouraged me to sing in the church choir. She just never believed in herself the way she believed in her children.

I wasn't always the best daughter and we butt heads on many occasions. I regret that now. Too bad I found out too late that she was right about nearly everything. I recently told my pastor that I often pray to the Lord and ask Him,” Tell Mama, that I am sorry, and that I know now she was right." He said something comforting, "Marsha, she already knows." 

I do miss my mother more than I can say, and each day I find I miss her more. But I am not as one without hope. I have the hope of knowing that one day, I shall see her again, and that will be a sweet reunion indeed.