Apology
Dear Readers, I hope you accept my apology for such a long absence in writing. I have been overwhelmed by life, and just didn't write. Has that ever happened to you? Do you ever over-commit to things? I have. In fact, it is a pattern with me. I can't say no. Saying no is more difficult than saying yes. Saying no to something means you have to explain why you say no, and so yes, seems the easier thing to do, until, as I found, that in saying yes, I overbooked by already booked and filled life.
I love to teach, so when asked if I would lead a 7th and 8th grade reading group, without thinking I said, "yes, I would love to do it." I do love doing it, but should I have done it? Then I was asked if I would rejoin an orchestra I had once been part of. What did I say? Yep, you guessed it, I said "sure". Never mind that I teach violin students, work at the church library and resource center. Oh, I must not forget that this is the year, I am making most of my presents for Christmas, and then there is the quilt I am making, a novel I'm writing, and the blog to keep. Hum, oh, and a house to run. Did I mention that I am also planning our 40th wedding anniversary celebration? I could say that being over fifty...ok, well over fifty, puts a limit on my energy level, but I would rather not go there now.
The orchestra rehearses in a band room of a local high school. During rehearsal one evening, the conductor worked with the brass, and as he worked with them on a certain piece, I glanced up at a folder on the bulletin board. It said, "Excuse Slips". My first thought was, "I need one of those. I want an excuse to get out of some of the things I committed too." Now I now the teacher must have intended the word to be pronounced with a "z" as to be excused from doing something in the band, but I read it excuse with an s. I thought about that a lot that night. Do I make excuses to God about why I have failed at doing something I should not have done? Do I come to him and say, "I'm sorry I couldn't talk to my neighbor about You today, but I was busy? I admit I've done it.
Then the Lord brought to my attention that it is equally wrong to do things,even good things, without going to Him in prayer asking, "Lord, should I do this thing?" I had not done that. I realized that in being overwhelmed with all my commitments, I lost the joy of doing the very things I said I would do. Practicing became a chore, teaching a burden, etc. Is that good? Does that glorify God? For me I don't think it did.
So, I bit the bullet, and admitted I sinned in taking on things I should not have taken on at this time. I talked to the principal and admitted, I sinned, asking him to forgive me, and cancelling the literature class until next semester, when I knew I would have the time. I went to the orchestra coordinator and told her, I just couldn't take on anything else and I would have to leave.. Thankfully there were plenty of first violins, or I would not have done that. It's humbling to admit wrong, but it lifted a burden and my joy is full again. I feel refreshed, and I can handle the other tasks I have before me.
It made me smile to think of how God used that sign "Excuse Slips" to bring to my attention that a little house cleaning in my heart was in order. It takes more courage to say no than it does to say yes.
For those of you, who have stuck with me, thank you very much. Some of you have offered feedback and this too is good, and I thank you for it.
Lord-willing, I shall be posting a lot more frequently!
I love to teach, so when asked if I would lead a 7th and 8th grade reading group, without thinking I said, "yes, I would love to do it." I do love doing it, but should I have done it? Then I was asked if I would rejoin an orchestra I had once been part of. What did I say? Yep, you guessed it, I said "sure". Never mind that I teach violin students, work at the church library and resource center. Oh, I must not forget that this is the year, I am making most of my presents for Christmas, and then there is the quilt I am making, a novel I'm writing, and the blog to keep. Hum, oh, and a house to run. Did I mention that I am also planning our 40th wedding anniversary celebration? I could say that being over fifty...ok, well over fifty, puts a limit on my energy level, but I would rather not go there now.
The orchestra rehearses in a band room of a local high school. During rehearsal one evening, the conductor worked with the brass, and as he worked with them on a certain piece, I glanced up at a folder on the bulletin board. It said, "Excuse Slips". My first thought was, "I need one of those. I want an excuse to get out of some of the things I committed too." Now I now the teacher must have intended the word to be pronounced with a "z" as to be excused from doing something in the band, but I read it excuse with an s. I thought about that a lot that night. Do I make excuses to God about why I have failed at doing something I should not have done? Do I come to him and say, "I'm sorry I couldn't talk to my neighbor about You today, but I was busy? I admit I've done it.
Then the Lord brought to my attention that it is equally wrong to do things,even good things, without going to Him in prayer asking, "Lord, should I do this thing?" I had not done that. I realized that in being overwhelmed with all my commitments, I lost the joy of doing the very things I said I would do. Practicing became a chore, teaching a burden, etc. Is that good? Does that glorify God? For me I don't think it did.
So, I bit the bullet, and admitted I sinned in taking on things I should not have taken on at this time. I talked to the principal and admitted, I sinned, asking him to forgive me, and cancelling the literature class until next semester, when I knew I would have the time. I went to the orchestra coordinator and told her, I just couldn't take on anything else and I would have to leave.. Thankfully there were plenty of first violins, or I would not have done that. It's humbling to admit wrong, but it lifted a burden and my joy is full again. I feel refreshed, and I can handle the other tasks I have before me.
It made me smile to think of how God used that sign "Excuse Slips" to bring to my attention that a little house cleaning in my heart was in order. It takes more courage to say no than it does to say yes.
For those of you, who have stuck with me, thank you very much. Some of you have offered feedback and this too is good, and I thank you for it.
Lord-willing, I shall be posting a lot more frequently!
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